What the World Needs Now

Hello dear void, it’s been awhile since last we spoke. I wish I knew where to begin, what to say to ease the pain and frustration and angst so many are feeling in this horribly scary and overwhelming moment in history. But for the first time in my life, words have failed me. They simply aren’t enough.  This forum isn’t a stranger to absences, I’ve promised more than I can deliver on several occasions, but this time has been different. Like so many, the effects of the past four and a half months have turn my tiny sliver of the universe upside down. Let me first pause and explain that everyone close to me is safe and healthy and my gratitude for this abundant blessing is immeasurable. But the rest of my life is in a bit of a free fall. Please know that I recognize that compared to the tragedy so many others have faced recently, my plight is so small in comparison but nevertheless fear is fear and pain is pain and I am choosing to share my feelings in hopes it can make someone else feel less alone. 

I am someone who resists change with every fiber of my being. Fate has been forced to eject me from my comfort zone serval times, and in each of those instances I’ve gone kicking and screaming into the next phase of my life. I hate it. I hate uncertainty, I hate goodbyes, I hate endings. So everyday that the world is in this fluctuation I have been in a personal hell. Security and certainty are like oxygen to me, without them I feel like I cannot breathe. How does one put one foot in front of the other when you have no idea in what direction you are headed? How do we plan or make decisions when we have no idea what the world will even look like two months from now? Nothing is certain anymore. 

Things that usually provide me joy or clarity have lost their effectiveness. I used to lace up my running shoes to clear my head, fill my body with endorphins, and center myself but now the task feels daunting and joyless. I knew I was in deep trouble when even shopping felt tedious. So I racked me brain for something else I could do to lift my spirits. Aside from escaping into old episodes of Martha Stewart Living, the answer was this space. When I started this blog several years ago I did so thinking I would be providing something to my audience. I would share my opinions and interests. But what I have recently come to realize is that this place has actually given something to me. Inspiration. And isn’t that exactly what the world needs now (in addition to a vaccine, police reform, tolerance, a new president, compassion, and empathy)? So thank you for allowing me to indulge in the fantasy that I have had anything genuinely unique to offer to you when in fact you’ve been the one performing the act of service all along. 

So if like me, you’re feeling lost or scared or anxious I provide to you today’s piece of inspiration, The Beatles Here Comes the Sun. George Harrison wrote the song at sunrise while staying at his friend Eric Clapton’s country estate after a particularly long, grueling winter, as spring finally began to emerge. I’ve been listening to the song on repeat lately because we all need to remember 

“it’s all right”.